Entries from my journal—
Friday June 26, 2009
"We are taking a break right now. We’re wading through the Escalante River in the desert of Southern Utah. It’s really cool, I love it. I feel like I am on a safari in Africa. It definitely has that look and feel. I’m leaning up against a canyon, the cold hard rock is cool against my body. And I’m sitting in sand, there are rocks everywhere and it feels like and African beach. I feel like some ladies in African clothing should walk down the river with baskets on their heads. The bids are chirping and it’s sunny. It’s probably about 630 PM. I am enjoying this evening but I’m very homesick!"Sunday june 28, 2009
"....it is 3:03AM. We just got finished scaling a mountain. We left our camp at around 9ish and just now got here. When we were almost at the top I was in front of everybody and I tried to go up some weird way and I was lying on the rock with my 60 lb pack sliding down. I got pretty messed up on my legs arms and elbows…if I would have kept sliding and been unable to stop I would have rolled down and died. Victoria saved me."
Tuesday june 30 2009
"Today was a very successful day. I’m happy right now. Tomorrow is the first day of July. I went rock climbing all day and I loved it. I’m going to rock climb so much when I get home!"
Thursday july 2 2009
"I’m starting to get used to this place and love it. It’s growing on me. We hiked 8 miles today, we’re in Coyote Gulch right now and it is AMAZING! Tonight Jeff and I climbed to the top of a 60 ft rock and were going to jump off, but it was pitch black and we couldn’t see much of anything so we’re going to do it in the morning. Last night we got to our spot at 5AM and I watched the sun rise and slept for about 45 minutes then we got up and hiked."
7/3/09
"Today was brilliant. I was the first to jump from the cliff out of everybody. Jeff said his brother who is in pro BMX wouldn’t even jump from that cliff, so I’m proud of myself J after we got back I was dehydrated and felt extremely sick but I got better. We hiked a mile then stopped at a waterfall for a bit, but then a flash flood came so we are stuck here until morning."
July 17 2009
"So today has been exceptionally retarded. I’ve been stressed and pissed all day. We hiked halfway down a mountain, then had to hike back up. We just did so much uphill, and we ran out of water, I felt so sick."
July 20 2009
"We’re at Utah Lake State Park. The sunset this evening was gorgeous. My breath was almost taken away. It was purple! Blue, yellow, pink, grey. Ah. Just an array of beauty. I want to remember that sunset on the summer night of July 20, 2009 forever."
Friday june 19 2009
"We’re in Oray. We got here last night around midnight and I was in a pretty bad mood at first, but then I just looked up at the sky and I was amazed. There were SO many stars. I’ve never seen that many in my life. It looked like somebody had just poured out buckets and buckets of glitter."
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow. If you have been opened up by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closer from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, or to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be trustworthy
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty everyday and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
